I am not anorexic or bulimic, I want to make that perfectly clear. I have EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified, I may be Pro ana, and know her well but I am not anorexic, I think that's plain to see by how fat I am!

Tuesday 28 September 2010

SUPER UPDATE!!!

Hello beauties, sorry i've been gone so long...lots to tell you all I'll start with the bad and end with the good.

BINGEY TIME...yes it got me again big time, so much for my super water fast lol, I suppose the thought of NO FOOD scared my body into cramming as much as possible into it's mouth. I gained all the way back up to a whopping 198.8!!!! Disgusting I know, please we won't mention this number ever ever again and why?!? I hear you ask well it's because...

ANA and MIA have taken me so snugly into thier bony caress!

I couldn't face wrirint on here again until I'd lost my initial weight gain...writing your failures can have a detrimental effect i've seen, so I was determined to show you all some good news. Today is the 7th day of Steph and I being back on the good old abc diet! Oh am I so happy to have structure back in my life, but even abc seems too high in cals for us, so we have decided to do an abc or less diet :D

My weight now I hear you ask??? (unless of course you looked up at the little butterfly hehe) it's finally out of those god for saken 90's and is 189lbs! I'm hoping to be in the 70's next week. So I have lost 10lbs this past week and feel great for it.

Mia:
My dad tried to make me eat yesterday, but then he went to his study upstairs, while Mia and I got rid of it all in the downstairs loo, whoo hoo! Still managed to lose 2 lbs last night! Mia has been very kind to me, she has blessed me with her presence twice this week, usually she never comes to see me, but I think she see's how hard I'm trying...she only seems to come when I HAVEN'T binged lol, typical, but hey you gotta love her!

Ana:
She has been so lovely to me this past week, she has motivated me, and given me key goals. Made me feel ill by looking at food, and has literally given me the flu I believe as a present to burn more calories and to inhibit hunger! Today she spoke kindly to me as I looked down at my bowl of food, and I RAN to the bin to throw most of it away, a few mouthfuls were more than enough she has taught me. She has changed my goals, and has given me more motivation at the gym, I am swimming and doing classes more, to burn away as much as possible. May she NEVER leave my side.
My goal has now leaned from 135 to 130lbs hehe, steph's is now 125lbs :D I realised today whilst walking home from the shops (worry not I only bought yogurt for myself!) that if I only lost 1lb a day, I'd be my goal weight in less than two months...yes TWO MONTHS!!! How amazing is that, also at the moment I'm losing between 1-2lbs a day, so I may see a slimmer me in a much faster time!

Exercise has been good, gym/swim 3-4 times a week, running club and a class, know I should do more than that but...I will admit to being lazy.

So that is my update, from now on you will keep getting regular posts I promise, for I will not fall back into that horrible food hall again, the thoght sickens me. Thanks for reading, hope all is well with you!!!

Mantra for the day: If it won't make you fit, then you'd better be sick (for all the mia girls out there)

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