Not heard from my bf is 3 days, until...just now! Well I don't trust him, and so have gone from feeling terribly worried to utterly lonely, tears are creeping into my eyes. My worry made me eat 300cals today not 150 :( I did burn 933 at the gym, so all is not too bad. But now I feel so bad I feel that the razor blade may make another appearance tonight. Why am I so weak when it comes to men? I want to give them my heart, my soul, my everything...but no on wants me, I am ugly, fat and disgusting. Even if I'm beautiful and pure within, no one can see it through the repulsive sight of me. So yes, I am going to cling on to Ana with every stength of my being, only she will bea able to give me a chance on day of being loved. Of not being alone, fat and depressed like I have been my whole life.
I feel worthless, most probably because I am...
Oh and i'm still fat at 193lbs, of course did I expect anything else?
Update: I think I should tell you all that not only do I suffer from ed, but I also have Borederline Personlity Disorder, with extreme bouts of depression, anxiety and feelings of rejection, that may help you understand me and my mood swings more.
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